Regrets
by MaryFan1
Summary: This is an idea I have had and I don't know how I feel about it.  Ray and Deb are divorced and Deb is dating Ray's friend Andy.  I would have made it Robert but I want Robert to be with Amy and they may be in the story.  This is not complete.  Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Ray pulls up to the house to drop the children off after their weekend with him. It never got easier taking them back to Debra. He misses them so much sometimes but he knows the situation was mostly his fault. What made it even harder was that Debra was dating his friend Andy. The whole thing seemed surreal.

He decided to go in with the kids to say hello. The kids burst through the kitchen door, "Mom!" they exclaim as Debra walks out of the laundry room.

"Hey guys," she says giving them all a big hug, "Did you have a good time with your dad?"

"Yeah, we did all kinds of cool stuff." Michael says.

"That's great, why don't you guys go wash up for dinner. Andy will be here soon." She says.

"Hey, Deb," Ray says.

"Hi, Ray," she responds,"How are you?"

"Oh, I'm okay. I just wanted to say, Hi. So I should be going." He turns to leave but looks back at her, "Oh, is Wednesday night okay? The boys wanted to go to the game. Ally said she had play rehearsal that night so I would like to take her out another night, just us."

After and awkward pause Debra answers, "Um, yeah that's fine. In fact I'm supposed to go to a meeting at the school anyway."

"Oh,great. That works then." Ray says

Just then Andy comes in with with two pizza's for dinner, "Hey, Deb. I got the pizzas, and some garlic bread" he says, turning around noticing Ray.

"Oh, Hi Ray." Andy says.

"Hey, Andy." Ray says awkwardly

Debra comes over to Andy and gives him a kiss on the cheek, "Thanks, Honey. Could you get some glasses?" She asks, then calls the kids, "Kids, pizza's here!"

Ray watches as Andy gets out plates and glasses, setting the table. Then goes to the fridge to get overyone a soda. He couldn't believe it, someone else was living his life. The kids come into the kitchen and make a beeline for Andy.

"Andy!" They all hug him.

"Hey guys, how's it going?" he responds, "Boys, did you remember what I said about baseball practice?"

"Yeah, it was great. I didn't miss a ball!" Jeffrey says.

Ray moves toward the door standing for a moment watching the scene unfolding in front of him. What has happened to my life, he thinks as he quietly slips out the door. 


	2. Chapter 2

Ray, Robert and Gianni are waiting for the pizza at Marco's. Ray is still distracted from the events of the previous evening.

Angelina, their waitress, approaches to see if they need anything, "Can I get you guys more soda?"

"Yes, thank you very much." Robert says

"Yeah, thanks" Gianna echoes.

Ray just sits in a trance, "Hello Ray!!" Gianni says waving his hands in front of Ray.

"Huh? What?" He finally responds.

"She asked you if you need any more soda." Robert says.

Ray looks at Angelina and smiles, 'Oh, sorry. Yeah I'll have some more."

"What's with you, man?" Gianni asks.

"Nothing, it's nothing." Ray insists.

"Look, if you can't tell you friends, who can you tell?" Robert says.

Ray sighs, "Alright, you wanna know? I dropped the kids off last night and Andy was there."

"Well, so what? You know they have been dating for a while. It shouldn't have surprised you." Gianni reasons.

"Well, it was just weird. He was all acting like it was his house, setting the table, getting the drinks. My kids ran over to him like they couldn't wait to see him."

"Oh, wait a minute. Andy was setting the table and getting drinks? I guess Debra loved that." Robert says.

"Shut up! You don't know anything." Ray snaps.

"I don't know anything? Well, I am leaving here in a little while to go home to my wife. Where are you going? To your mommy's?" Robert retorts, "You know Ray, it sounds like Andy is everything you weren't, helpful, thoughtful."

"I said shut up!" Ray says again.

"Hey come on guys, cool it," Gianni interjects, "The pizza's coming."

Angelina sets the pizza down on the table and they begin to dig in.

"Ray, I gotta say when I saw Deb the other day she seemed very happy. It must be nice for her to have someone who really cares." Robert says continuing to rub it in.

"Yeah well what's so great about Andy?" Ray questions.

"Well, for one thing he obviously helps her and gets along with your kids. My guess is he doesn't lie to her or sit around on his ass doing nothing while she waits on him."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Ray mumbles.

"Is what's bothering you that she is seeing him or the fact that he is showing you up? He's more thoughtful, less selfish. Are you angry because you really see who you are for the first time?" Robert observes.

"You just love rubbing this in my face don't you? You love seeing me unhappy." Ray says his face getting red from anger.

"Hey, as much as I am enjoying 'As The Big Nose Turns' can we please talk about something else and eat in peace?" Gianna quips.


	3. Chapter 3

Ray still couldn't get the images of Debra and Andy together out of his mind so he decides to go visit his parents at their condo in New Jersey. He knew they might not be the best people to talk to but who else was there?

Ray knocks on the door and Marie answers, "Raymond, sweetheart! Come in." she says giving a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey Ma, how are ya?" He says.

"Oh, I'm fine. Your father is out on the golf course. He's like a new man since we've been here," she smiles.

Ray was happy his parents liked it here but since the divorce it was hard not having them closer. He couldn't believe he felt that way but he did, "That's great, Ma."

Marie eyes her son closely, "Are you alright, Ray?"

He sits down on the couch, "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." he insists.

"Sweetheart I know when something is wrong with you. You can talk to me. Is everything okay with you and Debra? Is she being difficult?"

"No Ma, nothing like that," he says, pausing, "It's just that she's been seeing Andy for a while now and when I dropped the kids off the other day and He was there. It was just weird."

"Oh, I'm sorry Darling," she says patting his hand, "I know seeing her with someone else can't be easy. I know you still love her."

"Yeah, well I screwed up royally and now I am paying for it. I guess seeing Andy and the way they are together. . . . " he trails off just as Frank comes in from the golf course.

"Ray! How are you son?" He asks patting his back as Ray stands up to greet him.

"I'm fine, Dad. Thanks." He responds.

"Ray, you can tell your father. He'll understand." Marie insists.

"Understand what?" Frank asks.

"Ray was over at the house the other day and Andy was there." Marie explains.

"Oh, he's muscling in on your territory, huh? Tell him to get out." Frank says forcefully.

"Dad, I can't do that. It's not really my house anymore." He says.

"Hey, you're paying her alimony and child support aren't you? That pays for her to live there doesn't it?"

Ray sighs, "Dad, you know Debra is working again, so I am not paying for her to live there. It's mainly to help with tuition for the kids school and stuff."

"You bought that house with your money, she wasn't working. It's still yours!" Frank says not letting up.

"Frank, please. This is hard enough for him. Being a bully is not the answer," Marie scolds, then turns to Ray, "What is it that really bothers you? Is it just that Andy is your friend?"

"No, it's not just that. I don't know. I really can't explain it," he says, "Look I need to go for a walk and think." he says heading for the door.

"You know we are here for you." Marie assures him.

"Yeah, I know Ma. I know." He says as he walks out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wednesday Night**

Ray pulls up in front of the house to pick up the twins for the game. He is early and wants to talk to Debra. Andy's car wasn't there so he was hopefully he could have the chance. He knocks on the door.

"Hello," he says peeking in.

Debra is sitting on the couch, "Hi Ray, come on in."

"Hey, I know I'm early but I need to talk to you." He says mustering his courage.

"Well, okay. What is it?" She asks gesturing for him to sit.

Ray takes a seat next to her, "I . . .I've been thinking a lot and I have to say this whether it bites me in the ass or not," he pauses gauging her reaction.

"Alright, go ahead." She says

Ray sighs, "Deb, I still love you and I want to get back together." the word tumble out like a boulder down the side of a mountain.

Debra's mouth is hanging open, she's not sure what to say, "What?"

"Look, I know you must think I am crazy but I mean it. I want to work things out." He says.

"Ray, you know I am seeing Andy. You expect me to just dump him? Besides how do you know I feel the same way?" She asks.

Though not unexpected the words sting, "I was just hoping we could try."

"Daddy! Daddy!" Michael and Jeffrey come running down the steps and Ray gives them both a big hug.

"Hey you guys, are you ready for the game?" He says trying cover up what is going on inside.

"Yeah!" They reply.

"Okay, go get in the car and I'll be there in a minute." He says.

Ray turns back to Debra as the boys race to the car, "I guess we can talk about this later."

"Uh, yeah, later." She repeats.

"Okay, I'll have the boys back by ten." he says

"Ten yeah, okay." Debra says as she closes the door behind her.

After letting his words sink in, Debra goes across the street to talk to her sister-in-law, Amy. After relaying the story they sit on the couch, Amy is just as dumbfounded.

"Wow, he actually said he wants to get back together?" Amy asks.

"Yeah, you know I guess it shouldn't suprise me. I am the one who filed for divorce. I knew he didn't want it but I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't put up with his lies and laziness. Other things were always more important and than me and the kids." Debra stands up and paces the floor.

"Deb, I know he hurt you but didn't you tell me you hoped filing for divorce would wake him up?" Amy reminds her.

"Yeah I was hoping for that but I had also had enough. I am not going back to that kind of relationship, the tuning out, being manipulative. I have someone who cares about me. If Ray did, he never showed it. Golf and tv were always more important. He seemed to find ways to be away from us."

"I know you will work things out." Amy assures her.

"Well, I have a lot of thinking to do," she says looking at her watch, "Oh, I'm gonna be late for the meeting at school. I'll call you tomorrow." she says heading out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Saturday morning Ray comes by. He wanted to talk the other night but he knew she needed time. The twins were on a campout and Ally had spent the night with Molly and wouldn't be home for a while. He comes in the back door. Debra is cleaning up the breakfast dishes.

"Hi," He says awkwardly.

"Hi, Ray," She says, "What are you doing here? The kids aren't here."

"I know. I was hoping we could talk." he explains.

Debra sighs, "I know but I just don't know if I can answer you yet."

Ray sits down at the table, "Can we just talk? We didn't exactly get to say much the other night."

Debra closes the dishwasher and sits down at the table with him, "I know. I guess I shouldn't be but what you said surprised me."

"Well, I shouldn't have just blurted it out like that. I know you are seeing Andy but I didn't know you two were really serious."

"Ray, I don't know that we are that serious either and it has only been a few months but I don't want to hurt him." She says.

"I know. It was just weird seeing him here the other night." Ray admits.

Debra gets up from the table, exasperated, "Is that what this is about? You were uncomfortable? Well, that's your problem Ray." She says, "You wanna know why I like being with Andy?" she pauses, "I like it because He treats me like I matter to him. He doesn't tune me out and run off every weekend to play golf. He wants to spend time with me and the kids. You whined about doing things with them. It was always about you Ray. Well if I am even going to consider reconciling you have to prove to me that you have truly changed and it's not just a put on. I am not going back to more of the same. I never wanted you to stop doing things you enjoy completely but being a husband and father comes first and that is more than just a paycheck."

"Deb I understand all of that. How can I prove it to you if we are still apart? What can I do?" He asks sincerely.

"Well, you can go to counseling. I think that would prove to me that you are truly willing to change. You can go to Dr. Greenberg. He has really helped Amy and Robert." she says, less a suggestion than an ultimatum.

"Counseling? Come on, Deb. I don't need counseling and I think you need to take another look if you think that guy has helped Robert." Ray quips.

"You see, this is what I am talking about. You make jokes. Well between you and Robert, who is happily married? You don't need counseling? You don't think there is anything about you that needs to change? How about your selfishness, laziness and your lying and manipulating." She asks.

"Oh and you are so perfect? Why don't you go to counseling to find out why you yell all the time?" Ray retorts.

"Oh really? Andy doesn't seem to think I yell at all. I wonder why that is?" She asks, "Maybe because I don't have to force him to spend time with me, listen to me or help me and he doesn't manipulate me. I wouldn't get so mad at you Ray if you gave just a little bit."

"Alright, alright. I gotta go." He says walking out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Ray walked out the back door of the house he used to share with Debra and the kids and out to his car. Counseling? She wanted him to get counseling. He got in, closed the door and started the engine. He backed out of the drive and turned onto the street heading for where ever he didn't know.

He loved her very much; and the divorce made him realize that more then ever. This is what made him willing to change. He wanted her back. The kids back. He wanted the way things used to be back. He hated waking up alone, and eating dinner alone. The only time he had dinner with anyone was when he had the kids or his brother Robert and his friend Gianni.

As he drove he thought about the last 10-11 years with Debra and all the times he ignored her or put her down in a teasing way. That had to be terribly hurtful for her and the kids. He didn't want his sons' growing up thinking it was okay to treat a woman that way, least of all their own mother. He stopped the car and put his head in his hands. God, he wondered how Debra had done it for eleven years. All the stuff she had put up with him. He owed it to her and the kids to get help. So maybe he and Debra could reconcile and then maybe just maybe get remarried. He would learn how to be a better husband and better father so he didn't continue the parental legacy. He loved his kids to much to do that.

He'd get counseling. Maybe he'd even go on Dr. Phil, and ask him for help. But he was a private man and wouldn't want the whole world involved in their problems. Debra hated when his parents got involved.

A couple of weeks later Ray sits in the waiting room of Dr. Pamela Wright. He chose her as a counselor since he and Debra had been to her a couple of years ago and she was recommended by Linda and Bernie. He didn't know what he would say but he had to be totally honest. He had to really get to the bottom of things. He owed it to his family.

"Ray Barone," Dr. Wright says opening the door.

Ray steps inside nervously, "Hi Dr. Do you remember me?"

Pamela thought for a moment, "No I don't think so."

"Oh, well my wife and I saw you a couple of years ago. We're friends of Bernie and Linda Gruenfelder."

"Oh yes. Of course, your wife's name is Debra."

"Well, my ex-wife now. That's really why I am here."

"Oh, I am sorry. So what is it you want to accomplist with our therapy sessions?" She asks.

"I want to find out why I am the way I am. I mean why I treated Debra the way I did. I ingnored her, always wanted to play golf. Why was it so hard for me to spend time her and my kids. Why I am so selfish." He admits.

Pamela smiles, "Well that is a tall order but I think we can do it but you have to be committed. You have to be honest with me. That is the only way this will work."

Ray exhales slowly, "Okay, I really want to do this."

"Well one way to get to the bottom of this is for you to tell me about your parents' marriage. We usually model what we see growing up."

Ray laughs, "Oh man, you may need to cancel your appointments for the next month," he pauses before becoming serious, "Well my parents have a very combative relationship. They argue quite a bit. Dad expects mom to wait on him hand foot. He never helped her around the house. He came home from work demanded dinner and sat in front of the tv the rest of the night. I guess Dad passed that on to me. I never really helped Debra. I wanted to sit in front of the TV and not even talk to her."

"So you are mimicking what you saw with your parents. Do you think it was right how your father behaved?" Pamela asks pointedly.

"Well, no not now. I guess I just never thought about it before. Even when Deb would tell me how she felt I never really listened. My Dad always made fun of men who were the least bit sensitive to their wives. I guess I learned that."

"Well Ray, this is a good start. But our time is about up. I would like to see you next week and we can pick up where we have left off." She says opening the door for Ray.

"Thank you, Dr. I really think this will help."


	7. Chapter 7

Ray pulled up in front of the house anxious to talk to Debra. He had been in counseling for about a month and really felt like he was making great progress. He had not told Debra anything about it in hopes of surprising her. He knocks on the door and pokes his head in.

"Deb," he said

"Hi Ray," She said, "Come on in."

Ray stepped inside and shut the door, "Thanks for letting me come over. I really appreciate it."

"Well you said you really needed to talk. What's going on?"

"Um, I just wanted to tell you that I thought about what you said that night when I said I wanted to get back together." Ray began.

"Look Ray, I shouldn't have been so hard on you. We don't have to get into that." She responded.

"No, no I wanted to tell you that I have been in counseling and I think it is really helping me." He acknowledged.

Debra was stunned, "You really went to counseling? I'm proud of you Ray but don't think that means I want to get back together."

"I know that. I needed to do it for me and for our kids. Even if we don't get back together I want our boys to know how to treat a woman right and I want Ally to know that she deserves to be treated with respect and not to accept less."

Debra felt a lump in her throat, "Ray, that is very touching and I am glad you have started thinking about the example you are setting for the kids."

"Well, hopefully I can make up for some of my mistakes before it is too late. I know you may never want to reconcile but I would like the chance somehow to show you that I am different." He said feeling hopeful.

"Well, how do you plan to do that?" She asked.

"I thought we could, you know, try dating again. We could start all over and see what happens." He suggested.

"Ray, what I am supposed to tell Andy? I can't do that to him." Debra wasn't sure what to do but she didn't want to hurt Andy.

"I know. I just thought well," he paused, "I guess I thought there might be a chance but you're right. I can't expect you to just dump him." Ray said with a hint of sadness.

"Ray, I am very proud of you and I will always care about you. I just don't know what to do. Please give me some time, okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure. I won't bother you about it again," he said, "I love you Deb. I always will." He walked out the door leaving Debra speechless.

That night Debra lay in bed unable to sleep. Andy had called earlier from his business trip out of town. She tried to sound normal but she couldn't stop thinking about what Ray had said. _Should I give him another chance? How can I do that to Andy? God help me to do the right thing_ she thought as she watched the digital clock change numbers. She felt like no matter what she did someone would get hurt.


	8. Chapter 8

Ray was sitting in his apartment working on his column and watching a Nicks game. He was in the middle of making a sandwich when the doorbell rang. He went to open it to find Debra standing in front of him.

"Hi Ray," She said smiling.

"Deb, what are you doing here?" he asked stunned.

"Well I came to see you, why do you think I am here?" she responded, "Can I come in?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'm sorry. Do you want something to drink?" He asked.

"No, I'm fine. Ray I have been thinking about what you said the other day." She admitted.

"Really?" he said eagerly, "Oh, I mean, really?" he repeated changing his tone to seem nonchalant.

They sat on the couch next to each other awkwardly.

Debra finally looked at Ray, "Yes, I have and I want to give us another chance."

Ray was dumbfounded, "You do? What about Andy?" He asked.

"I have talked to him and we decided it would be best to just remain friends. He understood." She said.

Ray took her hand, "I promise you I will show you how much I have changed. Let me woo you all over again. How about we have dinner tonight?"

She smiled, "That sounds great. Ally can watch the boys. How about 7? You can pick me up." She suggested.

Ray couldn't help smiling himself, "Great! I'll see you later then."

"Okay, well I've got to go pick the boys up from soccer practice." She said heading to the door.

"Alright, well I'll see you tonight then." Ray wanted to kiss her so bad but he knew he needed to go slow.

"Goodbye Ray," Debra said, then kissed him lightly on the cheek as she walked out the door.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Ray got out of his car whistling. He couldn't believe this was happening. He couldn't contain is excitement as he knocked on the door.

Debra opened it and smiled, "Hi,"

"Wow, you look fantastic." Ray said nervously holding a bouqet of flowers.

"Well, you look pretty handsome yourself," She said then looking at the flowers, "Are those for me?"

"Oh, yeah, your favorite, lillies of the valley. I hope you still like them." he said as she took the bouqet.

"Yes, of course I do. Thank you." She said kissing him on the cheek, "I'll put these in water and we'll go." She said heading to the kitchen.

"Okay" he said looking around the living room.

"Alright, so where are we going?" She said walking back into the living room.

"It's a surprise." He said smiling.

"Well, well, aren't we being mysterious," She said as he helped her on with her coat, "Let me tell the kids we're leaving."

"Kids, we're leaving. We'll be back by ten." She called upstairs.

"Okay Mom." Ally, Michael and Jeffrey called back in unison.

"Mrs. Barone, your carriage awaits." Ray said opening the door.

After a wonderful dinner La Cirque Ray and Debra returned to the house.

"You want to come in?" She asked.

"Are you sure?" he responded.

Debra laughed, "I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't sure.

"Okay, yeah I'd like that." he said as he got out of the walked around and opened her door.

"Why thank you sir." She said and they walked up to the house and went inside.

"Would you like some coffee?" She asked as they hung up their coats.

"Sure, that sounds great."

Debra went into the kitchen and made the coffee and after a quick check on the kids they settled on the couch.

"Ray, tonight has been wonderful. Thank you." She said

"Well, I aim to please." he quipped but quickly became serious, "I wanted to make this evening special to start this off. You deserve the best and I want to give it to you."

Debra began to tear up, "Well you are certainly off to a good start." she said and to his surprise cuddled up close to him as she had done many times during their marriage.

He put his arm around her, "I want to take this at your pace. You give me the signals."

"Well how is this for a signal?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him long and deep.

"Ooh, what the hell was that?" he asked when their lips parted.

"A signal." She said then kissed his neck.

"Deb, wait," he said.

"What? I thought this is what you would want?" She said confused.

"Oh, I do, I do. but I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for." he responded.

"Ray, I am all over you. I think I'm okay with it." She said.

"Well, if you're sure."

"Oh, I'm very sure," She said kissing him again, "let's go upstairs."

"Really? I mean you want to, you know?" he said in disbelief.

"I have wanted to for a long time. Come on." She said grabbing his hand and leading him up the stairs.

"Holy Crap!" Ray exclaimed


End file.
